How to Properly Take and Send Dick Pics

Ahhh, Ye Olde Dique Pique. We've all gotten one. Or if you haven't, then you've probably sent one. It's a perfectly natural human sexual expression. But what is the purpose of sending that dick pic? You may be surprised to know there's a few different theories.

The most obvious theory is that it's due to a natural inclination towards exhibitionism - or the attraction to showing off oneself in public. This definition is generally for IRL interactions, and lies more along the kink spectrum. And if someone has an obsession or compulsion towards this, then it would perhaps more of a "courtship disorder," or an "overriding of 'normal' courtship behaviors."

Other studies link sending dick pics to narcissism. Meaning that senders of dick pics lack empathy and have a constant need for admiration. Perhaps this has something to do with it, but I wouldn't necessarily say it were the case in all instances. True narcissism is actually pretty rare in people, so to say everyone who sends dick pics is a narcissist seems a bit extreme.

My theory is this: sending a dick pic is a bit like a digital mating dance. If you think of a male peacock (pun intended) doing his dance to attract a female. He unfurls his feathers, he wiggles dramatically, and he walks around enthusiastically in the hopes of attracting a suitor. The goal of sending a dick pic is essentially quite similar; it's to attract a mate.

You see we live in a digital world and what a dick (or vagina/hole pic in some cases) is is a digital mating dance. It’s a call to say ”hello, I’m ready if you want me!” It's simply a call to action for a potential mate.

There is a caveat: unsolicited dick pics are never okay, it’s important to ask first. Consent is key in any sexual advance. If it is wanted, you will be asked for it, and maybe (just maybe) the gesture will be returned.

To the sender of Ye Olde Dique Pique: I understand your pain. It can be hard putting yourself out there and opening yourself up to criticism. Sometimes sending a dick pic leads to an immediate block, and that’s okay. It is certainly not a measure of your worth.

No, dear dick pic sender, it only means that there is opportunity for growth here. You must ask yourself beforehand “does this person seem interested in receiving this picture of my manhood?” or “have they asked to see this?” or “Is it too cold in here?”

The truth is, most women don't really care about dick pics, especially if they've never seen it before. It's perfectly natural to feel proud of what God gave you, but there is a quiet confidence that you may find is a much better approach when it comes to women. Gay men may be a bit more receptive to receiving them, but again, you should probably ask.

But if you must send that dick pic, you must sit with the feeling that you may be rejected. You should meditate on it and ruminate on each possibility of how the reaction may be. Only then, after you have sat with it, thought about it heavily, answered each question fully, and definitely ask permission, should you allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to send that dick pic. The truth shall set you free.

Dick pic composition

I’ve received many dick pics in my day, and I will say each one had similar issues: staging and positioning.

When it comes to taking a solid dick pic, or any pic for that matter, lighting is everything. Behind lighting is a no-no; that always gives the impression of a horror movie. Making sure you’ve got several light fixtures, and not just the single one, you must use light coming from several angles. A ring light works perfectly to remedy all of these.

Also remember: #nofilter!

Taking a dick pic can be… complicated. I, personally, am not a fan of overhead or below angles. Those often give the illusion of shortness to your schlong. You don’t want that.

I am a big fan of a side angle dick pic, with proper lighting, and just under full erectness. Don’t do full mast, though. It gives the recipient a little surprise if things go further!

Another direction you can take is the secret dick pic. "What is the secret dick pic?" You may ask? Well, I'll tell you: It's a dick pic without being a dick pic. Sometimes it's just sexier to not see the dick. Say you get freshly out of the shower, still dripping, and you get your best bath towel to dry off with and wrap it around your waist to where only your mons pubis shows. Or maybe just a little hint of the top part, the outline of it, and some pubes show. Women may find these types of photos much sexier.

It’s no exact science on how to send a dick pic, and truthfully it can be an overwhelming experience your first time. I think if you follow the tips I laid out beforehand, such as lighting, positioning, and angles. As well as have established enough of a rapport with the recipient (and confirmed the dick pic is indeed wanted) then you should be good to go! Think of sending dick pics as much more of an art than a science, but I think with enough practice you can be a successful dick pic sender.

One last word of advice: be original! People love a unique perspective. Tying a little bow around, or dressing it up as a little priest can be nice on holidays. Photoshopping a picture of space into the background can add a cosmic, futuristic tone to your member - think "space dick." Adding some glitter (food-grade is best) can feel... festive. Or simply trim your bush a little bit beforehand, the choice is yours. If you go the extra mile for people, it makes the gesture feel a bit more special.

Sources:

The Cougar Experience: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klODZdUoQkk

Brains Applied: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yURyJNY5I6o

Cracked: The Perfect Dick Pic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoFxMX2ZEXQ